Right now my life, is a little chaotic. We are preparing to put our house on the market, finishing our new home, enrolling our children into new schools (where they do not know anyone) and I will eventually begin a new job. A job as a bookkeeper, a secretary, and a 9-5 desk worker again. I swore I would never go back to an a 9-5 desk job.
You see, I have worked with children since I was 10 years of age in some capacity. After graduating college, I did work a desk job for about 5 years. I would have stayed working at that job had it not been for a life changing event that propelled me into looking for something else. At the time, I thought, what am I going to do? Why is all this happening to me? I was without work, fighting for my child and left with unanswered questions between me and God. I was absolutely terrified, but reminded myself of Isaiah 43:2,
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
God was with me. He had a plan for me. Two days later, I found a job teaching preschool. It didn’t pay much, but it gave me the security I needed at the time and that this was a God moment. I was teaching the alphabet, how to write their names, teaching some of them English and learning some of their languages, I was teaching them how to feel safe, how to play, and more. I was in my happy place again. I was changing little lives and the lives of their families. You cannot put a price tag on that. I knew then that teaching children and being there for their families was my calling. He had put me in the exact place and with the exact people that I needed to be with. Over the years and with some trials that came about, I really began to lean more and more on Him and seek out a more personal relationship with Him. I began to feel this tugging at my heart and at my soul. That tugging and God working in my life would eventually lead me here to Purple Door and then into the ministry that I am currently in. Had you asked me all those years ago if I would be doing work in ministry, I would have said no, but God knew what He was doing. I have grown in so many ways and more importantly have really gotten to know so many of the children and families here on a personal level. Walking the halls of our church and getting high-fives and sleepy Sunday morning hellos, and seeing their faces light up when we talk about Jesus or when they come to me and ask me to pray with them for something that is troubling their little heart. . .these are the moments that are priceless. These are the moments where I know that God had His hand over everything in my life up until this point.
Now I am being called away from it. It is really scary thinking about the unknowns. It is scary to walk away from where my heart feels called. However, once again I must remind myself to Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Once again I am reminded to be steadfast in prayer and in my trust in Him. So a 9-5 desk job may not be my calling, but it is what the Lord is calling me to do right now and what He knows is needed so badly for my family. I AM AN ARROW AND THE LORD IS MY ARCHER. He pulls me backwards when life is dragging me down with the unknowns and He does so only to launch me forward into something great. So while I am sad, I know that He has a great plan for this church and I know that He has a great plan for me and I can take comfort that even in the not knowing the finer details, I do know that He has a plan.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
Remember to always pray, focus on God, read His word and know that He is always with you. He has a plan for you, even when those details are not known to you yet. Let yourself be His arrow. Allow Him to work in His time.
In His love,