WHAT THE HECK IS SHIPLAP?!?

Babylon Bee, a Christian, satirical e-newsletter, recently ran an article about a stunning new study that found that up to 78% of all marital fights and problems come from watching home renovation shows on HGTV.

Most fights used to be about things like finances or kids, but now settling in to watch other people do a great job renovating their homes while your own house is falling apart is the number one cause.  “It seems that watching Chip and Joanna Gaines renovate a $20,000 fixer-upper into a gorgeous home has caused irreparable tension in millions of marriages across the country.”

The study further indicated that most marital fights observed during the study occurred as the wife began to passive-aggressively utter phrases like “that looks really easy” and “I bet you could do that this Saturday,” before searching online retailers to see how much shiplap costs.

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These shows seem to be the over-riding reason for owning cable or TV’s any more. A 24/7 revue of shows buying, selling, flipping, and renovating houses with couples who have way too much money. How can so many 20-something couples decide to move to some island and look for a house with a $1.5 million budget? Really?

We now have a new vocabulary based on these shows. Over and over we hear things like gut-job, open concept, backsplash, demoday, walk-in closet, granite counter tops, Waco Texas, What would Jo-Jo do?, and shiplap. Shiplap? Did they make that up? Had anyone ever heard of it before these shows? For the record, shiplap is nothing more than reclaimed wood with an overlapping ridge. Now everyone wants shiplap on their walls. In fact, the demand is so great that we now have manufactured shiplap. So we now have new wood, made to look like old wood- and my guess is it’s all made in some secret silo in Waco, Texas.

Last spring, Sue and I were looking at a project. We wanted an open concept with plenty of walk-in storage space and cathedral ceiling and maybe even a loft. It was definitely going to be a full gut-job. The Demo Day was scheduled, budget and timeline set, and we began.

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I am so glad that God had a plan in place before all of this. God must look down on all of us and see a lot of gut-jobs and manufactured lives trying to be something they really aren’t. Luckily for us, God’s answer to our messed-up lives needing to be fixed-up was much more complete. God’s plan for our demo day included Christ’s death on a cross and forgiveness. We only need to accept it and allow it to renovate our lives. Thank God.

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Back to our big project – I finished it this week! And it’s gorgeous. Everything we were wanting. Open concept – lots of walk-in storage – cathedral ceiling – and a loft overhead – and all sorts of shiplap – reclaimed wood all-around. I got it done under budget and only 3 months over our timeline.

Yep – this is one fine shed.

Pastor Dennis